Six years ago my first son was born. He was induced early (as I have mentioned in previous posts) and weighed a delicate 5lb 2oz. When I think how small Jake was at a healthy 7lb 6oz it makes me realise just how tiny Joshua must have been.
We were forced to stay in hospital for a week in transitional care as couldn't be discharged until they were confident he was gaining weight. As a first time mother, I was inexperienced when it came to feeding but remember feeling the weight of responsibility sitting firmly on my shoulders as I did my best to make sure my baby gained those all important extra ounces.
I had always planned to breastfeed and very much wanted to do so but I really struggled in hospital to do so effectively to begin with. My stress levels were at an ultimate high, due to worry, extreme lack of sleep and feeling under pressure to feed my baby successfully and my milk production at the same time was at an ultimate low. I had one particularly bad night on day 3 when Joshua cried almost solidly from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. I remember wheeling him in his little plastic cot several times up the ward to where the midwives were sat with tears rolling down my cheeks asking for their advice but was dismissed unsympathetically and told simply to go and 'latch him on' which of course I had been doing all night. The poor little love must have been starving.
As my breastfeeding was off to a shaky start, during my stay, a few more kindly midwives had given me a bottle to help settle him, which I remember him guzzling enthusiastically and he seemed happy and content afterwards. It was then that I decided that mixed feeding was actually working for us both. I certainly didn't plan to supplement a breastfeed for a bottle feed as I didn't want it to affect my milk supply but I would 'top up' with a bottle once I had fed him myself. Finally I felt a sense of relief that I had a system that was working and as a result Joshua started to settle and gain weight.
Imagine my surprise therefore, when a rather stern midwife who was on duty one day firmly told me on discussing my new feeding routine that she was not prepared to discharge me until I had made a decision on whether I was going to bottle feed or breastfeed and that I could not do both. I was crestfallen. I desperately wanted to breastfeed but the bottle feeding was helping Joshua greatly too and I knew he was more settled as a result of my combining. I couldn't understand why he should be denied the shared benefit of both. By feeding him myself I was passing on all of the goodness he needed along with that all important immunity as well as giving us a time of special bonding which helped calm and comfort him in a way a bottle couldn't. But on the flip side my milk was not yet enough to satisfy his hunger on its own but after topping up with a bottle he was much calmer. It also meant that my husband could feed him too.
I met a lot of midwives that week, all seemingly of good intention but they also confused the life out of me between them with their varying opinions on how I should do things. I was left feeling low and lacking confidence as a result and this ultimatum from the last midwife felt like the final nail in the coffin. I felt torn as what to do and almost gave up feeding him myself in favour of turning to the bottle (quite literally)! It was pure good luck that as I sat tearfully feeding Joshua from a bottle having being forced into my unhappy decision that yet another midwife with a soft face and kind voice checked up on me. I told her of my plight. She told me it was probably more than her job was worth to say it but that midwives were not allowed to advocate bottle feeding and that they could only promote breastfeeding but that if mixed feeding worked for me then that is what I should do. It was such a relief to hear. I told the stern midwife I was going to breastfeed simply to get myself discharged but knowing full well that I would now adopt the system that worked for us. We were finally allowed out and didn't look back.
Fortunately, I was not to experience the same issues with my two following children. I simply told the midwives that I would be mixed feeding as it worked for me and I wasn't questioned. Perhaps I exhibited the confidence of an experienced mother that was not to be persuaded otherwise or perhaps I was just lucky and met more accepting midwives.
I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding and personally find it a rewarding experience, however it saddens me when I hear stories from friends and other women who felt under so much pressure to do so when they were also struggling that they simply gave up. I have heard of how these women felt like failures and at worst how it triggered the start of their post natal depression. I wonder if they had perhaps been encouraged to top up with a bottle whether they may have felt encouraged to continue?
Of course breastfeeding is widely known to be preferable for your baby but at the same time so is the sanity and happiness of the mother. Whether you breastfeed, bottle feed or combine the two, ultimately I think we need to consider that a mother should do what works best for her and her baby. After all, a happy Mummy is likely to make a happy baby!
Six years ago my first son was born. He was induced early (as I have mentioned in previous posts) and weighed a delicate 5lb 2oz. When I think how small Jake was at a healthy 7lb 6oz it makes me realise just how tiny Joshua must have been.
We were forced to stay in hospital for a week in transitional care as couldn't be discharged until they were confident he was gaining weight. As a first time mother, I was inexperienced when it came to feeding but remember feeling the weight of responsibility sitting firmly on my shoulders as I did my best to make sure my baby gained those all important extra ounces.
I had always planned to breastfeed and very much wanted to do so but I really struggled in hospital to do so effectively to begin with. My stress levels were at an ultimate high, due to worry, extreme lack of sleep and feeling under pressure to feed my baby successfully and my milk production at the same time was at an ultimate low. I had one particularly bad night on day 3 when Joshua cried almost solidly from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. I remember wheeling him in his little plastic cot several times up the ward to where the midwives were sat with tears rolling down my cheeks asking for their advice but was dismissed unsympathetically and told simply to go and 'latch him on' which of course I had been doing all night. The poor little love must have been starving.
As my breastfeeding was off to a shaky start, during my stay, a few more kindly midwives had given me a bottle to help settle him, which I remember him guzzling enthusiastically and he seemed happy and content afterwards. It was then that I decided that mixed feeding was actually working for us both. I certainly didn't plan to supplement a breastfeed for a bottle feed as I didn't want it to affect my milk supply but I would 'top up' with a bottle once I had fed him myself. Finally I felt a sense of relief that I had a system that was working and as a result Joshua started to settle and gain weight.
Imagine my surprise therefore, when a rather stern midwife who was on duty one day firmly told me on discussing my new feeding routine that she was not prepared to discharge me until I had made a decision on whether I was going to bottle feed or breastfeed and that I could not do both. I was crestfallen. I desperately wanted to breastfeed but the bottle feeding was helping Joshua greatly too and I knew he was more settled as a result of my combining. I couldn't understand why he should be denied the shared benefit of both. By feeding him myself I was passing on all of the goodness he needed along with that all important immunity as well as giving us a time of special bonding which helped calm and comfort him in a way a bottle couldn't. But on the flip side my milk was not yet enough to satisfy his hunger on its own but after topping up with a bottle he was much calmer. It also meant that my husband could feed him too.
I met a lot of midwives that week, all seemingly of good intention but they also confused the life out of me between them with their varying opinions on how I should do things. I was left feeling low and lacking confidence as a result and this ultimatum from the last midwife felt like the final nail in the coffin. I felt torn as what to do and almost gave up feeding him myself in favour of turning to the bottle (quite literally)! It was pure good luck that as I sat tearfully feeding Joshua from a bottle having being forced into my unhappy decision that yet another midwife with a soft face and kind voice checked up on me. I told her of my plight. She told me it was probably more than her job was worth to say it but that midwives were not allowed to advocate bottle feeding and that they could only promote breastfeeding but that if mixed feeding worked for me then that is what I should do. It was such a relief to hear. I told the stern midwife I was going to breastfeed simply to get myself discharged but knowing full well that I would now adopt the system that worked for us. We were finally allowed out and didn't look back.
Fortunately, I was not to experience the same issues with my two following children. I simply told the midwives that I would be mixed feeding as it worked for me and I wasn't questioned. Perhaps I exhibited the confidence of an experienced mother that was not to be persuaded otherwise or perhaps I was just lucky and met more accepting midwives.
I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding and personally find it a rewarding experience, however it saddens me when I hear stories from friends and other women who felt under so much pressure to do so when they were also struggling that they simply gave up. I have heard of how these women felt like failures and at worst how it triggered the start of their post natal depression. I wonder if they had perhaps been encouraged to top up with a bottle whether they may have felt encouraged to continue?
Of course breastfeeding is widely known to be preferable for your baby but at the same time so is the sanity and happiness of the mother. Whether you breastfeed, bottle feed or combine the two, ultimately I think we need to consider that a mother should do what works best for her and her baby. After all, a happy Mummy is likely to make a happy baby!
